The Path of the Reluctant Awakener


“Healing is the release of fear from waking.” -ACIM

I can’t help but awaken, but I’m afraid to feel.
It’s getting harder to hide the feelings, but I don’t want to acknowledge it.      
I’m forced to acknowledge, but I don’t want to decide.
The decision has been made for me, but I don’t want to move.
I’m being moved, but I don’t want to surrender.
Help has appeared, but it’s so hard for me to receive.
Love is surrounding me anyways, and I don’t know what to think.
My thoughts are all messed up, because of how I feel.
Now I feel all the feelings, but I can breathe deeper.
Breathing means your alive, but I don’t want to hear it.
So I hold my breath, and my soul begins to scream.
I can no longer ignore the screaming, so I listen.
I hear a cry for love, so I seek to find it.
I go back to my past, but no one can give me what I need.
I try to reach my future, but no one knows me there.
So I stop chasing, dying, grasping, and trying, because I’m exhausted.
I finally surrender, I choose to let it be and let myself sleep.
And then, with no effort at all, I awaken.